September 8, 2008

Soul Journal Day 1 (Aug. 19 entry)

Posted in Art, Art samples, Beginner's art, Soul Journal tagged , , , , at 4:33 pm by amateur-in-art

As I mentioned in my previous post, I decided to do multiple variations of the “Day 1” exercise in my Soul Journal, because I knew I’d be going through some wild emotional extremes. I did the next installment of Day 1 on Aug. 19, just before a major medical procedure, and it captures the emotional extremes pretty well, I think.

I skipped a few pages, because I knew I would want to come back to them, and created one page about my fear and worries.

Then, because I was determined to not be overcome by fear, I had to convince myself that the pain was worth it, because of what it would bring on the other side:

That was the end of my first page for that day – red for pain and purple for hope and healing.

On my second page, I initially wrote the word “fear” – with a question mark, because I was unsure if I was giving in to it, or fighting it. Then I put the words “No” and “Know” above it, to reflect my ambivalence. “No fear” would be denying it; “know fear” would be overwhelming. So I counteracted this by making the word “Trust” the largest most visible thing on the page, and then wrote “Hope” forcefully on top of the word fear, to blot it out.  Trouble was, as I worked on a few more details on the page, I then realized that my “No/Know” which was above the word “fear” now was just above the word “hope” – making it look like I was saying “No Hope”. An ironic twist, as I am by nature a pessimist – but I did not want “no hope” running through my mind at a time like this, so I obscured the “No” and left the “Know” intact. Afterwards, upon reflection, I realized I had put a purple heart on this page. I cannot claim to have been “wounded in action” – but I find it interesting that that image showed up in the course of writing this page.

© amateur-in-art, 2008

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